Wednesday, November 08, 2006
God.
how long do i have to wait before i can see mummy again. so many things i want to do for her. so many words i want to tell her. when can i see mummy again?
so many promises that i gave her and is still not fulfilled. so many regrets i am going to bring with me for the rest of my life. how long will it be God? waiting is such a terrible feeling.
the house seems so empty without her. i cant see the familar figure walking around the house. i cant hear the familar voice that i used to hear. i'm really scared what if one day i forget how she looks like. what if one day i forget how she sound like. i dont want. i dont want. i dont want a life that is so used to living without her. i want to depend on her.
God. i'm still feeling terrible. my mind is going crazy with all e memories. memories is a doorway to e past. i seems to enter into into the past and i cant see myself getting out of it. i miss the days when i can laugh with my mummy. i miss the days when i get into such deep talks with her. i miss the days when i reached home, i know she is waiting for me. i can only find her in my memories. so i rather live there.
i'm feeling so lost like never before. i'm like someone sailing on a vast sea of nothingness. i want to return to the habour of familar past and recover what was lost. when God? when can i see her again?
i love my mummy. i really love her. can i be with her? God. i really love her. really.