this is the first birthday i celebrated without them. this is the first birthday so many friends celebrated w me. but somehow, i just feel something is missing inside.

i remembered last year national year, when my mummy was in e hospital. she wanted to watch fireworks. i pushed her ard in a wheelchair looking for a place in the hospital to watch fireworks. but we couldnt find. we went up and down. finally, we gave up. i remembered very clearly what i said "aiya, nvm lar, this year cannot next year lor. haha. ok? but you must first get well! then we can walk together and see" somehow from her eyes, she doesnt seems happy. at that point of time, does she alrdy knows she is walking one step closer to e end of her life?

the period when she was in the hospital, though it was tough, but i felt statisfied. because i could see her everyday. i belong to her. i'll do anything just to accompany her. i'll stayover at the hospital just to see her sleep. just to be by her side. i love her.

i really wonder how many more birthday i'm gonna spend without htem. i really wonder how more national day i'm going to go thru w regrets. i cannot see fireworks w her anymore.

i just want to keep them in my heart forever. no one can take them away.