locked in a past where there is her and me

dear renewmeonceagain blogger. May 2005-September 2008 you've been faithful to me for the past 3 years. the times when i complained to y...

cant wait to be soaked in His presence again. i really really love to worship Him with my all.

God.. thank you. thank you. thank you so much God. thank you so so so so much God. my heart really really really want tto thank you. thank y...

i hate to go thru the process again. but somehow i feel that this time is different. when mummy left, whenever i'm afraid to sleep alone...

well. thinking. wondering. expecting. hoping. and, praying.

i am running, running after You... i will continue to run after You i'll do whatever You say. because i know everything You do is for m...

zion core:) i'm so grateful for this group of people in my life. i know they are people who sincerely cares, i know i can be who i am in...

happy mother's day, dearest mummy(: the best mum in the world.

was listening to some songs that i used to listen some time ago, different songs bring me back to different period of my life. as i was list...

seems like death rates recently is quite high. cause i seem to be seeing funeral wakes everywhere. i will feel a sense of lost whenever i pa...

time can really prove so much things. time is e best test for many things on Earth. but God exist outside time.

went home late the other day. was enjoying the quietness in the night. so much happenings recently. the escape of mas selamat, the saga on t...

the sky is grey. found another place for my break. it is quiet and everyone is doing their own stuffs. i enjoy this kind of place. media has...

6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in sec...

the One who waits. the One who forgives. the One who made us in His image. the One who is so gracious. the One who understands. the One who ...

when night is over, sunrise is here. life is a cycle. no matter what happen, night will always come. sunrise and sunset will always happen...

is raining outside. went for walk last night with God. brought my ipod along. was reminded of some unhappy stuffs. and soon i indulged in th...

i always remember my mummy as a wonderful woman. a woman that has gone thru so much in life but never blame anyone. a strong woman whe loves...

the end marks yet another new beginning. didnt do well. failed maths. got no where to go. but i still believe that God will make a way that ...

dreamt of them again. i know it hit e target again. they are real. they left their footprints in my life n nothing will erase it away. mayb ...

it has never change. it has always been the same. i am the one God created. the deep down desire, the cry of my heart. the kind of things my...

stop. i stopped to for a rest. i stopped... for a time to reflect. i stopped... for a time to put an end to e past. i stopped... for a time ...

need some cooling down exercise for my mind and soul. too much input from outside, too much output. need to slow down to make space from God...

sick. food poisoning. felt so terrible and weak. feel like depending on people. had a dream when i felt weak. i dreamt that i saw my mummy a...

i dont wish to remember anything. i dont wish to recall anything. one year. dont know how did i survive this one year. time just pass so qui...

mummy papa 我真的真的很想你们。真的。 cant sleep, who can pat me to sleep.

well, finally, i cry it out. finally. even since my father's cremation, i dont recall myself crying that hard anymore. or rather i seem ...

when things get too overwhelming, is time to be back into His presence. it is really getting tougher. afriad to go thru, wish to give up. bu...

爸mummy, 你们会不会担心我啊？ 我知道你们一定会的，因为我是你最爱的宝贝。 有人为你担心真幸福。 。 想回到过去，回到我还是一个开心和幸福的孩子。 回到他们还在我身旁的时候。 我真的好爱好爱你们。

as i listen to the song on my blog, many thoughts and feelings dwell upon me. it has been so long since i take a break from the things of th...

11 months since she left me. 8 months since he left me. life still goes on. the world is still moving on despite the fact that 2 important p...

i've been dreaming alot about her recently. is she doing well in the other world? i believe so. she can find the life she wants in heave...

this is the first birthday i celebrated without them. this is the first birthday so many friends celebrated w me. but somehow, i just feel s...

sprained my ankle. miss her bringing me to doctor. miss her cooking. miss her taking care of me. miss her being there when i need her. i rea...

papa and mummy, how are the both of you? doing well? missing me? i really miss you both. really i do. please trust me for once. i want to ma...

mayb all along i'm a selfish girl. but this time i really wish that the decision i make is for the good of everyone. i got alot of reaso...

without them in my life, rachel knows that she got to be stronger. hate to see furneral and ambulance. the pain will come again. for the pas...

rachel really misses them. i really wish to see them and touch them and hear them again. all i left is only memories of them. humans are for...

didnt go to school. excuse being i need extra time to study. but i know that's not the case. this few months, i've been trying to pu...

i love easter. i love God. what will happen if easter never happen. this is the question i have been asking myself. i think i can just go an...

as i look at the photos we took many years ago, i saw the smile on me my father and mummy's faces. i was wondering, at that point of tim...

i neve knew how blessed it is to have someone waiting for you at home. i'm always home late. my parents are always very understanding. t...

home. a place where you are with people you are comfortable and you love. i was moved away from the house i lived in with my parents for 16 ...

why do humans only treasure things after they lost them? mayb not everyone but at least i am like that. i have never really know how to trea...

home. a place where you are with people you are comfortable and you love. i was moved away from the house i lived in with my parents for 16 ...

if i have to give up half of my life to get back my papa and mummy. i'll be most wiliing to. this is not out of rashness. but have been ...

i walked with my mummy till the very end of her ife. but i didnt walk with my papa. he was alone... been sleeping for e past week. because i...

on the exact 3rd month of my mummy's departure. my father left me also. my father left me to be all alone on earth on 17 of January. in ...

God. i’m at the end of the road again. the previous wound was not even healed yet. now the second wound came. and it open up my first wound ...

there's only 2 choices you can make when you face problems right. either you kill yourself then you will never face it again or you grit...

2006. the worst year in my life. the worst worst year. a fast yet memorable year. the year that i wish will never appear but the year i want...

dont feel like stepping into 2007. or rather, dont feel like leaving this scary 2006. i dont want to leave mummy in 2006 and me moving on to...

i often ask myself is my life gonna be the same without my mummy? is my life gonna be the same without her partcipating in it. without her n...

it has always been i leave her side. she has never left my side before. i always leave her side, like gg mission trip, camp or stayingover a...

i thought i will be fine. or rather i feel fine. until i saw the car accident. i saw a car knocked into a girl. i was so scared. is so scary...

many thoughts went through my mind. thought thru many things. so many. until my mind went confuse. let me recollect my thoughts and i'll...

it has been along long time since i went holiday with my mummy. i thought that she has always like to travel. and especially with me. but i ...

is 3 am. i really cant get to sleep. i miss the nights when my mummy will force me to sleep. i miss the nights when she will sneak into my r...

God. how long do i have to wait before i can see mummy again. so many things i want to do for her. so many words i want to tell her. when ca...

i really really miss my mummy alot. really alot. i thought i was prepared. i thought i know she went back heaven. but i never thought it wil...

she left me for home on 17 October. i'll never forget that day. i'll never forget when she breathe her last breath. i'll never f...