the gentle strokes on my hairs.
the loving patting on my shoulder.
make it even harder to let her go.

fell asleep by her bedside. in my sleep i felt her stroking my hairs. i felt her patting on my shoulder like what she used to do when i'm young to make me go to sleep. then i heard her weak yet filled with warmth voice asking me to go home and rest.

God. how am i supposed to let her go? i really want her to be by my side. going thru the future with me. i'm sorry God. i know i have agreed with you that i'll just follow your plan. but.. is so hard.please God. don take her away.please help her. until now, she still haven give up hope. she's still trusting you. you got to do something. i still believe in you

i'm really very tired. God. tell me. how am i going to continue on.