i really really miss my mummy alot. really alot. i thought i was prepared. i thought i know she went back heaven. but i never thought it will hurt that much. i really miss her.

i really dont mind taking care of her. i really dont mind. someone says that my mummy left might not be a bad thing. cause i got no more burden, i will be more relieve. but. i would rather take care of her. the happiness i have when i see her able to eat. the happiness i have when i see her get better. she means so much to me.

my left has been centered upon my mummy. everyday spend time with her at e hospice. just being beside her make me happy. complaining to her make me feel so comfortable. i know she feels terrible. yet she will still listen to me. i really need her. one caring look from her make my day.

i dont want to recall the memories i have with her. i want to create more. i never felt so terrible before. i really feel so so terrible. she will not come back to life. is so painful to dwell on things that i know i cant change anything about it.

everyone is telling me to move on. what is this? is not that easy. you guys just dont know how important and dear she is to me.

God. i really cant take it anymore. i dont know how to save myself. i need her. i want to love her. i have no more mummy already.