it has been along long time since i went holiday with my mummy. i thought that she has always like to travel. and especially with me. but i will never have this chance again.

going korea on thurs. for wat? i also dont know. everyone says go for a break. if i go korea will my mind stop working? if i go korea will my memories stop coming back? i dont know. the whole feeling is different. going holiday without my mummy is so different.

i can be so ease in front of my mummy. be so relaxed. in front of her i am not any leader, any shepherd or the rachel ppl wants me to be. i am just her daughter. the daughter that will always make her angry. the daughter that always make her laugh. the daughter who can be who she is in front of her. my mummy says before she trust me so much because she knows i can be so real in front of her. nothing to hide from her.

i really miss spending time with her. i miss hearing her voice. i miss her. i miss the feeling of being real in front of her. i really feel so comfortable with her. i love her. i want to give her a good life but before i have the chance to do that, she left me already.

is has been one month and 5 days since she let go of my hand. when? when can i see her again? when can i touch her again? when can i talk to her and she can listen? when can i run towards her and hug her? when? these tears that are flowing down cant seems to stop. there is a limit to how strong i can be. the person who love me alot and who i love so much is taken away from me.

nights have been the most terrible for me. i want to see her. i want to hear her voice again. i want to see her caring eyes again.but how long can this again takes?

i pray that God will takes me home to see her soon. i'm not doing well without her. the world doesnt seems to have anything that is holding me back.