on the exact 3rd month of my mummy's departure. my father left me also. my father left me to be all alone on earth on 17 of January.

in my 15++ years of journey. i fell many many times. but somehow i manage to get back on my feet. i fell so hard 3 months ago. so badly until i feel like giving. i tried to get back on my feet and move forward. is was really hard. it was really painful. but as i was halfway there, i fell again on 17 January. this time i not only have new injury but my previous injury was cut so much so much deeper. i lose the strength to stand up again. i will only sit on the road and look back at the past journey.

that string in my heart and brain seems like it's gonna snap any time. i have yet recover from my mummy's death and now i have to experience the death of my father. i promised my mummy that i will take good care of my father. but i didnt. is all my fault. is all my fault. my heart really really hurt alot when i think of him. i didnt give my best to him. i dwell so much oin my mummy's death that i negelcted him.

i wasnt with him when he breathe his last breath. i wasnt.

papa and mummy left me alone on earth. i cannot take it anymore. that string will snap anytime.